Lucas Lascivious

Foe of moderation, champion of excess

Month: August, 2016

Q: “Why Do You Drink So Much?”



By now, it’s no secret I’m a lush; I openly admit to as much. What I haven’t been as forthcoming about is I have diagnosed high-functioning depression, meaning even though I don’t have any reason to be depressed, because of the way mind works, I just inherently am. That I’m depressed for no reason is in itself is depressing, and I’ve been prescribed a jumble of medications for it, but they all essentially turned me into a lethargic zombie and impaired my mental faculties, so I stopped taking them. That’s when I learned booze is a great way to dumb myself down to the point where I can briefly stop thinking at such a frenetic rate. My brain thanks me for it, whereas the rest of my internal organs are about to quit a bitch.

The odds are stacked against me, because I’m genetically biased towards addiction. Everyone on my father’s side of the family are and have been heavy drinkers, sometimes to the point of full-blown alcoholism. I essentially disowned my father’s side of the family a long time ago, but their genetic impression is still felt. Still, it could be worse: at least no one in my family has had a propensity when it comes to drugs. I’ll definitely take an alcohol habit over a heroin dependency.

Above all, though, alcohol helps to curb my anxiety. I get anxious about things as ridiculous as an incorrectly folded shirts. I guess the bottom line is that I’m not so much an alcoholic as I am a binge drinker. I can go for days without drinking and don’t crave alcohol, and sometimes even find the prospect of drinking repulsive, but once I do drink, it’s balls to the wall. I guess I can at least derive a modicum of pride in that I’m rarely a sloppy drunk.


Proust Questionnaire



[For reference:]

The principal aspect of my personality

The quality that I desire in a man
Intelligence and a sense of humor in equal parts

The quality that I desire in a woman

What I appreciate most about my friends

My main fault

My favorite occupation (recreation)

My dream of happiness

What would be my greatest misfortune?

What I should like to be

The country where I should like to live
I prefer a nomadic life

My favorite colour

My favorite prose authors
Anaïs Nin, D. H. Lawrence, Poe

My favorite poets

My heroes in fiction
Cal Trask

My favorite heroines in fiction
Ondine, Lady Godiva (as portrayed in Flores Historiarum)

My favorite composers
Wagner, Verdi, Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninoff

My favorite painters
Collier, Monet, Fragonard, Modigliani, Dalí

My heroes in history
Rimbaud, Nero, Kierkegaard

My heroines in history
Any headstrong woman who has refused to settle for and defied the societal role they’d been dictated based on their gender

My favorite names
Callaway, Parker, Charlotte

What I hate most of all
Unfounded arrogance

How I want to die
Memorably, but painlessly

Faults for which I have the most indulgence

My motto
“I’m the foe of moderation, the champion of excess.” — Tallulah Bankhead