Five Questions Left Unanswered by The Golden Girls
by Lucas Witherspoon
The Golden Girls is undoubtedly one of the most fantastic and progessive shows that’s come along within the past few decades, but as brilliant a show as it may have been and continues to be, I’ve noticed a few glaring inconsistencies and quandaries. For example:
What happened to Coco?
In the first episode, the Girls had a gay houseboy named Coco, but he mysteriously vanished after the first episode. A quick Google search tells me that most of his one-liners were eventually transposed to Sophia and she was made a main character in lieu of him, which, to their credit, was wise on the part of the part of the writers, directors, and producers, but it begs the question: what happened to Coco? Judging by his wardrobe, I can only assume he went on to become an extra in The Birdcage.
What happened to Blanche after she went to Sicily when she went to find Sophia?
In one episode, Dorothy put Blanche in charge of “babysitting” Sophia (which begat the famous line, “Fasten your seatbelt, slut-puppy. This ain’t gonna be no cakewalk!”), during which Sophia flees to Sicily to find an old lover. After being informed of Sophia’s international exploits, Blanche sets off to try and find her, and at the end of the episode, we’re left with the image of Blanche riding a donkey through the foothills of what’s supposed to be Sicily, yet we’re never given an explanation as to what happens next. Was Blanche stranded in Sicily? What was her reaction when she found out Sophia was already safely home back in Miami? Did she make the best of it and convert it into a vacation?
Did Dorothy follow up on her offer to help Mario expedite a visa to the U.S.?
In one memorable episode, Dorothy takes it upon herself to tutor a Latin American boy named Mario (played by Mario Lopez) and eventually discovers he’s a gifted poet. She submits a poem of his to a local newspaper, which in turn, because of his photo also being published, leads the INS to come knocking on Dorothy’s door to inform her that Mario is an illegal immigrant. He’s eventually deported, but as he and Dorothy are saying their goodbyes, she vows to keep fighting to get him back into the U.S. Did she ever actually make good on that promise? Because she seems to forget about him pretty quickly and Mario never made another appearance on the series.
Where does the random hallway to the left of the lānai go?
How can Dorothy’s first-born be in his 20s?
At one point, Dorothy mentioned that she and Stan had been married for 38 years, which was the result of her getting knocked up. It’s mentioned several times throughout the series that Michael is in his 20s, but mathematical logic means he’d be at least in his late-30s at best, but most likely in his 40s.