The Advantages of Being Short

by Lucas Witherspoon

cuddlingIn the past I used to be highly insecure about my height, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize that being short actually has it advantages. For example:

1. You can buy clothes from the juniors section
While I feel a little To Catch a Predator-ish browsing the juniors section alongside 12-year-olds, I will say that it’s worth it, given I get my clothes for less than half the price of adult sizes. A junior Ralph Lauren polo costs about $40, whereas the adult version would be over $100.

2. I’ve never seen a short guy who didn’t have a nice cock.
I don’t know if having a big dick is biological recompense for being short, but I’ve yet to meet a short guy who didn’t have a nice cock. Somehow what short guys lack they more than make up for in the dick department.

3. Everyone assumes you’re much younger than you actually are.
I’m 27, but because of my 5’2″ stature, people think I’m still in my early 20s, which is fortunate, because being gay and 27 is basically like being straight and 40.

4. The ceilings in every house seem high.
I’ve been to friends’ houses who have had 30-foot ceilings and I’ve been in friends’ houses that have 10-foot ceilings, but either way, it felt spacious.

5. We fit comfortably in airplane seats.
While people are complaining about airlines’ plans to make planes ever more cramped, the only way in which it affects me is it means I lose two extra inches of leg space when I already had over a foot’s worth to begin with.

6. We never have to worry about being taller than our date.
Remember how Tom Cruise used to put lifts in his shoes because Katie Holmes towered over him? Yeah, that’s a non-issue for us. It’s just presumed most people will be taller.

7. We’re good spooners.
Having someone cuddle you is basically the adult version of having a teddy bear as a child. We’re perfect little spoons.