Thomas Blachman: A Direct Threat to Danish Feminism

by Lucas Witherspoon

For those unfamiliar with him, Thomas Blachman is described professionally as a “jazz musician, composer, and five-time Danish Music Awards winner” who is also currently a judge on the Danish version of The X-Factor. In his native Denmark, he’s kind of known for being a blowhard–imagine Simon Cowell, but 10 times the douchiness.

With that being said, somehow Blachman managed to supersede his own reputation as a shitty human being by narcissistically creating a show titled Blachman, in which the entire premise is that Blachman and another equally as grossly unattractive male are to judge females based solely on physical appearance.

(Blachman, right)

My immediate thought was that I feel sorry for any girl who would actually subject themselves to this sort of criticism for a glimmer of television fame without processing the misogyny behind it all. Per Blachman’s own words, the show is designed to “revise women’s view of men’s view of women.” So now the insinuation is that women subjecting themselves to the judgment of men, period–not to mention the fact they’re choosing to adhere to misogynistic beauty standards set by men for women–is considered revisionary? I don’t think so, especially considering this is a word-for-word inquiry he proposed to one of the females: “Now, I’ve always been an ass man. Would you mind turning around for a moment? Very animated nipples.  How does that pussy work for you?”

Blachman is part of the problem that’s still almost entirely a global epidemic: women aren’t being treated as human beings or equals in comparison to their male counterparts. My response is: let’s see your dick, you low-life misanthrope.

Just by being male, you think your sexual anatomy is superior a woman’s, when in reality, it’s your lack of sexual anatomy that makes you feel as though you need to demean women in the way that you are by telling them to strip off their clothing so you can ignorantly demean them in order to make up for your own sexual shortcomings, you platitudinal piece of trash.

What’s worse, an American version is actually being considered. Fortunately, the understandable outrage among the Danish makes it unlikely it’ll ever hit the States (and even if it did, it’d be censored, so what’s the point?). I’m not a proponent of the idea of Hell, but if there is a Hell, it’s certain you’ll find Thomas Blachman there.